This post and its news has been a long time coming, in the short-term sense and long-term sense. Pregnancy after loss(es) requires an abundance of trust in the Lord for His plan for our family, and trust in Him for the health of our sweet baby. I wouldn't say I've been fraught with anxiety, but there is a higher degree of caution. We don't take this news lightly, the sharing or the receiving of it...

The week before Cooper's birthday, my parents, Grandma Donna, and my brother Matt came to visit. We ate carnitas made in the instant pot, and visited. Saturday morning, after breakfast, we spent the bulk of the day outside. Cooper played in the kiddie pool, my parents helped a ton in the yard (thank you, mom and dad!), and Cooper opened his birthday gifts, with much glee...

I made breakfast and coffee, I checked messages from a few friends who knew this day was meaningful for us. Cooper and I ran errands, he waved and said "hi," in his soft voice to everyone we passed and held on tightly to a penny while he sat in the cart. As we loaded up the car, I saw a mom and her little boy parked close to a construction site so the little boy could see the construction vehicles closely. And then we spent time in the backyard, the three of us, observing (from a safe distance) baby bunnies in our yard, Cooper leading his daddy around by the hand...

As I wrote in my 2019 year in review post, "Once this is done, I can look forward, with clearer eyes, a lighter heart. I so often feel lighter from observing the heavy pieces one last time before putting them to the side, emptying my hands in order to take up the next year in our life." I still resonate with that statement. Knowing that some things are meant to be set aside before proceeding and some might need to be carried on a bit longer...

Around 6:15 or 6:30AM, Cooper wakes up, and sits up, playing with his bunny and making little noises. I get up, go to the bathroom, and then get him from his crib and nurse him. (Nicholas sometimes gets up with us, sometimes gets a few more minutes of sleep). I change Cooper and then we come out to the living room/kitchen...