Welcome to my annual post of our life in the last year – a review of all the big and little events, travels, habits, heartbreaks, and joys. These posts require a lot of time and energy, in part due to sifting through all the posts I wrote in the last year, but also because these posts spur me to reflect and sit with the previous year for a moment, before stepping into the next one.
I've been adding bits and pieces to this post for the last several weeks. Birth, and the arrival of a beautiful baby feel so sacred and I want to do it justice with my words. I shared Cooper's birth story back in 2019, and Finn's birth story feels equally precious, but very different. Here we go!
I'm 36 weeks into this pregnancy, which is hard for me to believe. The second half of this pregnancy has flown by, and we are fully in the throes of preparing for the arrival of this little boy. I was texting my SIL the other day, telling her about my day, and she said, "You are definitely nesting!" Oh, yeah, that makes sense why I have this incredible desire to get things done.
It's a bit difficult for me to articulate, but over the past few years, I've noticed a habitual, or cyclical hardening of my heart. We've experienced loss and grief in ways that were unexpected and deep. Life as mama to a baby and now a toddler is busy and full and that's the nature of it. A nature that easily pulls me to indifference or an aloof heart. A head that says, "Yes, Lord, I know You're good. This baby is a gift from you, You are faithful and true." But a heart that doesn't always feel those truths deeply when I allow weariness to burden my heart to indifference.
It's been a little while since I've done a post about life lately, so I figured I would share some sweetness from life over the last few months.
Per usual, this time of year flies. I've had much of this post saved in a draft for what felt like only a few days, but has in fact, been weeks. Time to catch-up a little on life these last few weeks!
I want to write about true things. About real things. And in this season, a real thing for me and Nicholas is mourning.
Every year, I find it a bit therapeutic to look back on the last year. I know my heart is bent toward nostalgia, and at times, I wonder if that is one of the reasons I find looking back easier than looking forward. That's something for me to mull over, perhaps. All that said, at the close of a year, I find that it is good heart medicine to ruminate over the good, the hard, and the in-between. To think on the things that are the same, things that are wildly different, what didn't produce joy, and what did.
I wanted to write out the specifics of a very special day, the day we met our little boy, before the details became fuzzy. Labor and delivery are truly incredible things; the way God designed our bodies to go through such an intense and wonderful process is amazing.
I get a lot of questions about baby boy's arrival. The basics, of course, like when, followed up by comments along the lines of You're so close! And usually there are comments about Aren't you just ready to be done being pregnant by now?
This past weekend, my parents and brother came to visit for Memorial Day. Before they left, it was a little surreal to say, "Next time I see you, I won't be pregnant!" The reality that we're (at the most) a month(ish) away from meeting Baby DeVries is beginning to set in. It was so wonderful to get to see my family one more time before baby boy's arrival.
I was just thinking the other day that I haven't shared all that much about what we're doing to prepare for June (our "due month" as one of the midwives I see referred to it as). Apart from preparing for the reality of being a family of three(!) very soon, we're also settling into our new home. As the moving dust settles a bit, the baby preparations continue.