4 min read

A placeholder life

These are quiet days in my life. Whenever people ask me, "What's new?" I'm not quite sure how to answer. The reality is that nothing is very new, but nothing is wrong, per say. People around us are having babies and moving and buying houses and starting new jobs. And we aren't doing any of those things. And while we're hopeful some of those things will change soon(ish), I want to wake up, with fresh joy for each day, knowing that this life is good too.

The other day, I had a super encouraging conversation with a friend I haven't seen in years. She said something that made me blink back tears as we talked:

He's always giving us His best for us.

The longer this waiting season stretches on, the more I'm engraining this truth into the depths of my heart. He's weaving my hope in Him into more of my waking moments, more of my days. My current life circumstances are not merely a placeholder for my real life. This is is my real life. And my heart knows more of His goodness in the waiting than it did in a season of blessing.

When I look at my life lately, I see that these aren't things of a placeholder life, they are the things of a full, real, joyfully blessed life.

  • listening to a lot of vintage Relient K
  • baking scones and orange poppyseed muffins
  • knitting baby socks
  • drinking topo chico, tangerine la croix, and lots of regular water
  • knitting on Christmas gifts, including the only one that isn't a surprise, since I live with the intended recipient(!)
  • making Sufjan Stevens playlists (it's pronounced soof-yawn, if you were wondering)
  • reading library books
  • wearing a shimmery lip balm in vanilla hibiscus, that is the exact color I've been looking for. It was key that it was mildly shimmery, not sticky or the type of gloss that I get my hair stuck in.
  • I typically use zero hair products, but my hair stylist told me about this and I love it. It's for normal people who style their hair sometimes, and for weirdos like me who never do! Bonus: I can use it on wet or dry hair.
  • W3ll people bio brightener, it's so lightweight and wearable.
  • swapping out the table runner on the table to something sage green, that just barely hints at autumn
  • knitting in pjs, on the couch, before bed
  • making granola
  • talking with my mom on the phone
  • talking with my mom-in-law on the phone
  • having fika with my almond cookies, rolled in Swedish pearl sugar, rather than iced
  • finishing my Klein dress (blog post to come)
  • eating a lot of bowl meals for dinner! Our sweet spot seems to follow this formula: green veggie + starchy veggie + grain (usually rice) + fried eggs + additional protein (ham or bacon or chicken, etc). They are the best meals for cleaning out the fridge. Plus, I'm still not into sides 100%, so I like having all the things in one bowl
  • filling up my previous journals (a birthday gift last year!) with notes from my bible study, and ordering a new set
  • eating sauerkraut, usually with scrambled eggs. If it's not homemade, I usually buy this brand.
  • bringing in my sewing machine for maintenance, and now it's back to working like a charm
  • watching Kristy Glass tour Churchmouse Yarns (my ultimate destination local yarn shop, along with Tolt)
  • ordering cardamom lattes at my favorite coffee shop
  • re-watching Man in the High Castle with Nicholas
  • noticing light patterns on the quilt my mom made for our bed, feeling thankful for the way the light plays through the blinds
  • using my bullet journal every day. Acknowledging that I'll likely always have a bujo that's more function over form, and that's okay. It does keep me so much more organized.
  • finishing my (20!) nursing continuing education hours and renewing my Texas nursing license
  • snacking on caprese salad
  • picking up the best tacos in our cute little north Austin suburb's downtown, visiting a friend
  • living quiet days and living in expectancy

I can be content and expectant, grateful and hopeful. It's not an either-or situation, thank goodness. When I realize this, I truly can see that this ^^ is His best for me, no doubt about it.

These may be quiet days, they may look different than we expect sometimes, but I truly believe they are His best for me.


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