I've felt a bit like I'm floaty lately, unmoored. This happens periodically, typically when I fill up my days—for weeks on end—with busyness and distraction. Too much media and not enough things that fill me up in a lasting way. I've hear it said that relationships are like houses in that they need love and maintenance, or you end up with a rotten foundation and a leaky roof. I feel the same way about my heart: untended, it gets a bit messy. I find myself more impatient, less content, more focused on what I don't have or why the timing of _____ (x, y, z, etc.) isn't exactly how I thought it would be. My heart bears toward hardness if I'm not giving it the proper upkeep it requires.
So, when this happens, I try to return to things that make me feel anchored, things that help my heart re-soften, as part of regular maintenance. First, I try to notice the little things around me that help me to daily find joy:
honest journaling about what I'm feeling/thinking, which thoughts aren't true, which are true and wanting more of those // Aeropress coffee, on mellow mornings and in the afternoon for fika // the words of Charles Spurgeon // new book beginnings // getting out of a rut on a knitting project // time reading God's word // healthy suppers, made slowly // freshly cut hair // the sky on a breezy night in the middle of Austin // verde tacos for lunch // a new non-stick pan // a twill jacket that I want to wear every day // the shiny, crackly top on homemade dark chocolate chip blondies + Nicholas insisting we call them "cookie bars" // amber-scented soy candles // our nightly routine of watching a few episodes of The Office together
And then, apart from the little things, I'm mulling the bigger things. Prayerfully approaching the question:
"Am I actually listening to you, Lord, or am I just hoping you'll give me the answer I want?"
If I strive to hear my words more than the Lord's, my heart will harden ever faster. Even if I try to convince myself otherwise, I want to want what He wants more than I want what I want. I'm praying for my desires to align with His desires, and my will to align with His will for my life.
And that's a source of true joy, the best kind of heart maintenance.
P.S.— On another note, there are a few related posts that I've written in the last few years that I still reference whenever I need some healthy reminders:
Despite my writing in the previous post that fall felt like it passed the baton to winter, we've actually had some rather warm and sunny weather here. Trying to enjoy the ease of outdoor time without winter layers, just yet!
Since my last creativity check in, in late July, I've been rather prolific, in both knitting and sewing. As the weather gets cooler, I do find that I'm switching gears to more cool-weather projects. I'm eager to finish up some remaining warmer-weather works-in-progress. As ever, the seasonal change brings a fresh push of creativity and inspiration.
Several weeks ago, I finished a new cardigan! This project was the first time I've done an all over lace pattern, as well as the first time I've made a drop shoulder construction cardigan.