I frequently have nightmares (I always have) and usually, they set a tone for the morning, leaving me feeling unsettled. But today, even after a nightmare, I woke up to baby boy kicking like crazy, and thankfulness in my heart. We're still surrounded with boxes and un-homed items, partially unpacked rooms and to-do lists a mile long. But here is what I'm learning, when I look past my immediate surroundings:
Where I see clutter and disorganization, He shows me His blessings.
When I feel overwhelm, He shows me His community.
When I feel exhausted, He shows me His rest, both in His Word and physically. I slept in until 8AM today, can't remember the last time that happened.
When I drive across town to leave a third store empty handed (without curtain rods, because my goodness, they're expensive), I see blue skies and baby leaves on greening trees.
When I wake from a nightmare, He shows me the incredible (big!) kicks from the tiny person He's creating inside of me.
Where I see piles of laundry to be folded, He's showing me abundance. Abundance. More grace than I can realize, more joy in Him than I can imagine, more creativity in His creation, more personalization to the way He shows His love for me in stacks of laundry, and budding trees, and oat milk lattes, and baby kicks and hugs from Nicholas and a sister-in-law I consider a best friend.
And more generally, life includes the following:
- I had my 35 week appointment for Baby DeVries yesterday, and all is well. He's growing and moving and very much head down.
- I've been cooking in my new kitchen for the first time this week! First "real" meal was Summer Harms' Sweet Potato Shepherd's Pie (a perennial favorite of our's). I made it with a few tablespoons of pizza sauce instead of tomato sauce/ketchup, since we didn't have any. Thankfully, it still tasted just as good!
- I baked cookies yesterday too, which is such a self-care activity for me.
- I got a to-go decaf oat milk latte at a local coffee shop yesterday, so good
- I've been washing all the baby things and folding them neatly in his crib until we have a chance to buy a dresser (to also use as a changing table) for the nursery. My mom sewed the pennant banner that's currently hanging on the crib. We'll find a space for it on the wall before baby boy arrives!
- Saturday night was our first night sleeping at our new place. On Sunday, my first Mother's Day, we ate leftover waffles for breakfast and had aeropress coffee for the first time since March.
- We've "finished" both bathrooms. They have bath mats and shower curtains and are organized, so that feels good! And our bedroom is furnished, even though we haven't hung any wall art as of yet, it feels like a live-able space.
- I still need to make a trip to the laundromat to wash some larger bedding items that were in storage and to freshen everything up before it's folded and put away.
Sometimes a thankful heart comes from seeing what's around us, but more often, I find my heart is most thankful and aware when I allow the significance of what's around me to sink in. The weight of it, the value, the meaning. Not just abundance of our life, but abundance of our God.