I've been thinking a lot about how my little boy is growing up in a world that has a very different relationship to technology, compared to my own childhood. And I'll be the first to admit that I often feel pulled away from what is happening right in front of me by texts that need responding to, or other notifications, or the desire to "check in" on social media. And this is often at the expense of whoever is actually with me. I love sharing about our life (and writing about it here), but I'm beginning to think some more personal boundaries are in order. The other day, I read this convicting Elisabeth Elliot quote:
"Often we neglect the thing assigned for the moment because we are preoccupied with something that is not our business just now. How easy it is to give only half our attention to someone who needs us...because the other half is focused on a future worry."
I want to be present and joyful, as a parent. Valerie Woerner put it like this:
"God sees you. God sees the impact you're making. You are loving on HIS kids each time you choose them over your to-do list. Slow down. Your biggest impact isn't saved for the future. It is right here, right now, with whatever is right before you."
I'm mulling these things over as I think seriously about how to reduce the time I spend in a distracted state. I don't know what I'll do formally, but I'm pretty sure it will involve less social media and less phone time, overall. After speaking with a friend who feels the same, she suggested setting the phone down whenever she's with her kids, and reserving the social media perusing for naptime or after the kids have gone to bed. So, that's a good option. Blogging and writing is generally really good for my heart (and for sorting internal things out) so that is here to stay. But I think some phone limits are in order. And that feels exciting to me! As a side note, I often also find myself distracted by various to-do list items. Yes, things need to be done, but I'm going to move forward with grace about the dishwasher and the laundry. There's a balance between keeping a home nice and feeling enslaved to a task list. I don't want to miss out on doing life and being present with our little boy.
Do you have any suggestions for a new mama wanting to set limits? I'm looking forward to all the snuggles and less of the pressure on myself to maintain profiles and handles. My real life is the one in front of me. All that to say, I'm not going anywhere. I'll still post on social media, I just don't want to be ruled by it.
Sometimes, it's still a shock to me that we have two little boys. The transition to two has been an adjustment for us, of course. Lots of hard moments and big emotions at times, but lots of sweetness too. Here are some of my favorite photos of our boys, from the last few months.
My dear friend, Molly, of Molly Kate Photography came over to meet Finn and offered to do an impromptu newborn session the other day. As Molly took photos of Finn, she offered to get some photos of the rest of our little family too, spontaneously. I hesitated at first, since we didn't do any prep, per se for having our photos taken.
Hello! Our hands are a bit more full these days, as one can imagine. I've begun a post about Finn's birth story, and I plan to chip away at it a bit, here and there, as time allows, and publish that post soon. But in the meanwhile, I thought I'd write a little bit about life right now, in the haze of baby snuggles and night wakings and adjusting to being a family of four.